Tonks Uses Protection
by Boomfly
Summary: RemusXTonks. Tonks sends mixed messages, so what's a guy to do? Well eat ice-cream of course.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, this is my first RemusxTonks. It's definitely going to be longer but I'm not sure how it's going to fare with all the necessary fluff involved in a RemusxTonks. I'm not a particularly fluffy person. But I've got two more chapters written. I hope you like it. And I wasn't sure what the rating should be, but it's pretty harmless save for the stray curseword.  
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**Would a woman who could sit on a typewriter and land a publishing deal be posting her crap for free?  
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Tonks Uses Protection

"You _kissed_ him Tonks. You can't just take it back. You haven't even given him a chance," Sirius sighed.

"Why can't I? Guys do it all the time-take things back I mean."

Sirius looked at her incredulously, "And you hate them for it every time they do it. Why would you do that to him? Give him a chance he's a nice bloke."

Tonks flounced across the room and threw herself into one of the old parlor's couches sulkily, "What about when it goes south faster than Merlin's old broomstick? You gonna be sitting in the parlor with me holding my hand then? No ones there to protect poor little Nymphadora from evil men, and no one's there to make it better when they hurt her." Sirius opened his mouth as if to speak, but Tonks was quicker, "And don't say you'll be there for me cousin. He's your best mate. You'll side with him no matter what?"

Sirius couldn't help but be a bit shaken by his little cousins suddenly jaded outlook on men, "He's not an evil man. Just what-"

"No men are evil until you date them," She said matter of factly.

Sirius continued on determinedly as if he hadn't heard her, "He's a good man and he likes you a lot. Whether or not he cares to admit it he's been mooning over you for weeks. And whether or not you like to admit it his feelings are just as important and they require just as much consideration as yours. He won't-"

"I'm sure his feelings need just as much consideration as my feelings do. The difference is I'm the only one here considering my feelings, and he has you. I apologize for not making any friends, but it isn't that easy for me to put myself out there."

Sirius rolled his eyes a bit, "Your my little cousin. I wouldn't let anyone, even Remus, h-"

"Don't give me that. He's your best mate." Tonks said resolutely.

"Well since you don't trust me trust him. He's a considerate guy. He would protect you if you let him."

Tonks just sighed,"Of course he would protect me, when he isn't the one hurting me."

"Why are you such a coward?" He asked a little disdainfully.

"No one is afraid of fire until they've been burned," She replied cryptically.

Sirius looked sadly at his cousin for a moment trying to gather the depth of her sorrows. She sat there avoiding his eyes playing with the tassels on a damnable old pillow emblazoned with the black family crest. The morning sun filtering through the curtains cast shadows over her face.

"As heart breaking as you sound, I apparently can't be trusted to care about your feelings." She opened her mouth to speak, but he put up a hand to silence her before plowing on, "So you just tell me how you'll handle this. You can't just kiss him and leave him out there confused. You'd be a cruel bitch to do that. How are you going to let him down?"

Tonks stood up and folded her arms challengingly, "I dunno," she said, "I suppose I'll just tell him I'm afraid of werewolves or something. Nothing personal you know?"

Sirius's eyes bugged out of his head. He couldn't believe what a load of insensitive crap had just flown from the lips of his little cousin. "Well then you must really be a Black, as cruel and bigoted as my dear old mum. And more to the point it's not only cruel it's unbelievable. You're an auror you're supposed to be brave and whatnot! And-"

Tonks raised her voice over his, "I have to fight all sorts of scary dark things and I'm afraid of them. Just because you know one personally doesn't mean I suddenly have to become a lycanthrope lover. And it's not irrational fear. Werewolves are creepy dark creatures that wander around at night, and shape shift every full moon. There also quite deadly. It's not so far fetched Mr. Black. And at least I've kept the phrase filthy half-breed out of it!"

They were both roused from there argument by the sound of glass breaking and a very disgruntled, "Fuck." Sirius could only look horrified for a moment. Remus had chosen a very inopportune moment to be walking by with his dish of chocolate ice-cream and glass of milk. He heard all of Tonks' bigoted tirade. Sirius shot Tonks the severest look he could manage before stepping out to see a very disgruntled looking Remus repairing a broken glass and _scourgifying_ the carpet. He gave a forced little smile and a poor excuse before disappearing up the stairs. Sirius head the door shut a few seconds later.

He ran back into the parlor and rounded on Tonks, "Your pathetic! What was that a pre-emptive strike? You figure you'll get him before he gets you!"

"But I didn't mean to," She said shakily and still not fully understanding the gravity of what she'd just done.

"But you did, and now you have to fix this!" He commanded, "You went to far, way to far."

"So what does this make me, a bitch a bigot and a coward?" She said looking up at him.

Sirius left.

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**A/N: I tried to make it interesting, but keep reading. It gets better [and I know this for sure because I've written it].**

** Ahh! The mystery. Where did Sirius go? Did Remus ever get anymore milk? Why is Tonks so afraid? Well stay tuned for the next episode!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I've kind of got loads to do, but I skive of work with such zeal that I actually become productive. I got a fanfiction update email today, and I thought I'd return the favour.**

**Special thanks to my first reviewers ****ever**** Bookish Brownie, All The Pretty Horses, and Ell25.**

**Taking J.K.'s dolls out for a spin, but they still have her name on the soles of their feet.**

Remus Needs Some Chocolate Cake

Life seemed to be going so well for him. He had a comfy room in a house with his best friend and a nice new green jumper. There was always a pretty girl hanging around, and she would smile at him on occasion. And sometimes when she would smile he'd have nice daydreams about if she'd kiss him, and he'd smile back. Then she kissed him. She kissed him sweetly enough, that wasn't what drove it all down hill. It was the grief stricken look she didn't bother hiding before she fled that really did him in.

He fancied her quite a bit and had he not caught a glimpse of that look he would have took their kiss on the second floor landing as an invitation to ask her out for a drink. But alas not only had he seen the look of horror, he heard her proclamation to Sirius.

After he'd gotten in he went to the kitchen for a snack before he went up to his room for the afternoon to do a bit of reading. On his way past the parlor he couldn't help but hear Tonks proclaim her feeling about werewolves to the rooftops. It was a well known fact that Remus Lupin had an uncanny knack for remembering everything you wished you'd never said, and reciting it to you word for horrible word.

But no matter how hurtful what she said was he couldn't actually bring himself to be angry at her. He was well aware of what he was and how much it scared people. His father let him know when the accident happened that he would be different and that people wouldn't like him for it.

"_Remus, you're not the same anymore," His father said to him solemnly. His hand imediately went to the fresh wound on his shoulder that the healer told him would scar. "No, not just the scar." He reprimanded sternly as if Remus didn't understand of his own accord, "You're not all human anymore. You're something else too, something people will be afraid of. When people find out they will be afraid, but you can't blame them. You may only work hard to control what you can and minimize the damage. You are not normal, so you cannot expect a normal life._

_Remus wasn't sure what was being explained to him, or even what he was if not human. But as always he answered his father respectfully, "Yes, I understand."_

A knock on the door shook Remus from his nostalgia. Remus sighed a bit hoping whoever it was would go away. He wasn't sure he was up for a chat. "S'me, Sirius," a disembodied voice from beyond the door called.

He stood and unlocked the door, but he didn't open it. After he had sat down and resumed eating his ice-cream he called out, "S'open."

Sirius stepped in and closed the door behind him. "Want some cake?" He asked offering up a large hunk of chocolate cake.

"I've got ice-cream," Remus answered displaying his dish of ice-cream.

Sirius cast and appraising glance over Remus before renewing his offer a bit more sympathetically, "Want some cake Moony?"

Remus sighed, "It's my second bowl."

Sirius looked on sympathetically for a moment before scooping about half the block of cake on top of Remus's ice-cream. He sat down across from his friend. Remus mushed his cake around a bit with his spoon before taking a large bite. Sirius nodded in encouragement before shoveling a bit of cake into his own mouth. They sat silently for a bit while Sirius steeled himself for the conversation he was about to begin.

"So, I can assume you only heard the part of that argument that would be terrible if taken out of context."

"Probably, but still I don't see how any context other than 'I'm about to make a statement I completely disagree with...' or 'My previous statement was completely biased' would make that any less upsetting." He answered smartly.

"Would you believe me if I told you one of those was precisely the context," Sirius attempted futilely.

Remus smiled a sad resigned little smile, "No, but don't worry about it. I don't suppose it would be right for me to think any less of her for being afraid of something scary. And she's right, she did refrain from using the phrase filthy half breed."

Sirius's face fell, whether or not Remus was making a joke, somehow being grateful for a person not using a phrase that shouldn't be said at all didn't seem fair.

"I've tried arguing with you, so I know it doesn't work. But for good measure I'd like to say that while you are completely off it you aren't scary in the slightest measure."

"Yeah, well," Was all Remus could come up with, because like Sirius he knew that these arguments never went anywhere.

They sat in the comfortable silence that can only exist between great friends for a few moments, before Sirius broke it again. "I know you won't believe me at all, but whatever has gone on with my dearest little cousin isn't your fault, and it has nothing to do with you being a werewolf. Or even her being afraid of werewolves."

Remus smiled, "S'no matter." he said trying to appear nonchalant, but Sirius could see him for what he was-completely disbelieving.

"Oh, don't be so narcissistic." Sirius accused. It was a little trick he learned to snap Remus out of blaming himself. "I'm telling you the truth"

Remus shrugged in a way that was more giving up than accepting as he cast his empty bowl aside with Sirius's plate. Sirius frowned, "I'll be right back," he said and left abruptly. Remus let himself be properly sad for a moment-sad for himself, for Sirius, for the world in general- before he flopped into bed hoping his friend would forget about him. And for all his stoicism and rationality, Remus Lupin was sad that the girl he liked didn't return his affections. He pulled the covers up over his head, and sighed wishing it wasn't the middle of the afternoon so he could fall asleep or at least actually go somewhere and hide.

Sirius returned too quickly for Remus's liking with more cake and two glasses of chocolate milk. He tore the covers back leaving Remus out in the cold. "Jerk," He muttered, but it was muffled by his pillow. He took a moment to adopt some semblance of a cheerful countenance before sitting up.

Sirius offered Remus a spoon and a glass of milk. "Thanks," Remus muttered already lifting the fork to his mouth. They sat eating and drinking for a bit before Remus proclaimed, "I'm full." Sirius put the plate on the night table and turned to Remus with and earnest look on his face, "I need your help."

Remus rolled his eyes, "I will not help you spike Minerva's drink at dinner Sirius!"

"Pfft!" Sirius guffawed and broke into a laugh. Once he regained his composure he spoke again, "As hilarious and entertaining as that sounds, it is completely not what I had in mind. I actually need your help with something serious."

Remus cocked his head to the side, and looked at Sirius curiously. It was not often that he wanted help with something other than a prank or that he wasn't up for playing tricks on Minerva, "Well, you remember my pretty cousin right? The one you like and who says mean things she doesn't mean?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Yes, I think I remember that on. She's the one that changes colors right?"

"Yes, that one! Well she seems to have gona alittle bit off."

Remus looked unconvinced, "Sirius you don't know that. You knew her as a child, but you missed quite a bit of her growing up. She could've changed."

Sirius wouldn't relent at logic, "But she's been so open and cheerful at meetings and things. Then when I talked to her this morning she seemed lonely and drawn. And I don't believe it's normal to be horrified of dating? Not of _you_ silly!" He said when he caught sight of the face Remus had pulled, "Well I suppose of you, but she isn't specifically afraid of werewolves. She seems to be afraid all dating, werewolf or otherwise. It's not rational."

Remus looked surprised and vaguely confused for a moment, "I'm not sure why you would ask me for this sort of advice," He sighed.

"I figured since you were such a noble self sacrificing person that you'd put aside the little misunderstanding."

"Hmpf" Remus huffed before continuing with his advice giving as if uninterrupted, "I suppose if she's that lonely _you_ could try spending some time with her instead of moping around the house like a put out child," Sirius pulled a face but Remus ignored him, "And you know that being in The Order doesn't do much for anyones social life. You pretty much have to befriend other members or be alone, and seeing as the Weasley boys are off in Romania or marrying French girls, Dumbledore is crazy, Minerva is scary, and Snape is just unpleasant that leaves you."

"Don't forget Mundungus and Mad-Eye," Sirius reminded.

Remus snickered, "Do you fancy spending the day with Mundungus or Mad-Eye?"

Sirius huffed, "Well what about the other bit?"

"Well I can't assume to know how to fix anyone's fears, but you could try finding out why she's so afraid, if you can manage to be just a little bit discreet about your intention she might talk to you.

Sirius shook his head a little bit disbelievingly, "_This_ is why I come to you for advice," He said gesturing at the space between them, "Your so goddamn brilliant and sympathetic, even to people are more than a little undeserving at the moment."

"She is _not_ undeserving. And if you'd really like to cheer her up somehow I doubt that making her feel terrible about a statement that I have no right to be upset about is the way to go." Remus said sternly.

"Oh," Sirius said, and everything he planned to say to her flew out the window.

**End Note- Yes, marauders eat their feelings. And if you don't believe my try standing between Sirius and the treacle pudding after he's had a run in with Snape.**

**What will Sirius do about his dearest cousin? Will Remus have heartburn? Why is Tonks so sad? For answers to these questions and more stay tuned for the next episode!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** Sorry for the stretch between updates. End of the semester frenzy set in and writing seemed to get lost. Anyway hope you like the chapter.**

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Baby Blue Girl

"Nymphadora?" Sirius called knocking on the door. There was no answer, so he knocked again and called, "Nymphadora?"

A very disgruntled looking Tonks in a short pink bathrobe and an acid green dressing gown opened the door scowling, "It's Tonks, and it's also late,"

Sirius tilted his head to the side a bit and smiled, "It's only nine o'clock, and I brought you some tea." He offered up the mug.

She took the mug and stepped aside so he could walk in. He pulled the covers of her bed up a bit and tried to smooth out a few wrinkles before sitting back against the headboard. She eyed him curiously. She could recall their last little heart to heart and wasn't in the mood for another. He patted the space next to him and she sat down compliantly.

"Tonksy, you know I care about you right?" Sirius said earnestly furrowing his brow a bit and looking down at her. Tonks nodded compliantly, but Sirius could tell she'd already checked out.

He ducked a little lower and nudged the side of her head, with his forehead. She looked at him strangely. "Did you know that I was thirteen years old when you were born? I met you on my fourteenth birthday, and you were only about four months old." She frowned imagining herself that young, "Well my mother really didn't approve of your family, being the nut case that she was, but I heard talk of an amazing color changing baby and sent your family an invitation to my birthday tea without telling my mom." Tonks couldn't help but smile at the thought of Mrs. Black when she found out. "It was not a fun birthday dinner. Dear old mum was seething, Regulus put on that pinched face like something smelled like dung -he was such an unhappy child-, and you just kept screaming and changing colors." Sirius chuckled at his own memory and Tonks joined in. He put his arm around her shoulders and drew her toward him. Tonks was physically comfortable but ill at ease in her older cousins embrace. She still hadn't forgotten there last chat, and even though he was making an effort to be friendly she couldn't help but distrust it a little.

"I suppose you get tired of it sometimes though," He said thoughtfully. She had no idea what he meant. She looked up at him questioningly. "You know what I mean, people treating you like a toy?"

Immediately Tonks' mind flashed to dinners with Hermione and Ginny.

_"Do it again!" Ginny cried between fits of laughter._

_She crossed her eyes to look at her nose and see if it had properly changed. She could only see a bit of her nose, and it was all blurry and doubled because of her crossed eye. Either way she was sure it was fine because Ginny and Hermione's fits of laughter doubled. Some of the other adults at the table began shooting her glares, so she changed back into a normal nose. Ginny and Hermione looked a little disappointed. They both looked at her with pleading glances trying to convince her to change it back. Molly cottoned on to what they were doing and scolded, "Nymphadora is not a toy, and I'm sure she doesn't appreciate being treated as such!"_

"Yeah the novelty does where off after a bit," She answered and Sirius gave her a gentle squeeze. Tonks looked down at her lap, embarrassed that she was such a downer.

They sat in silence for a bit. Tonks leaned forward hugging her knees, and away from Sirius's embrace. She knew that he was only trying to be nice, because she kind of turned into a lunatic on him that morning in the parlor, but his sweet cousinly behavior only made her feel terrible for being so mean to him and to his best friend. The forgiving nonjudgmental way she was being treated only made her remorse more complete.

"You know, I used to babysit you right?" Sirius asked conversationally, just to break the silence. He felt a little like he she wasn't listening because he was talking to her back.

Tonks hated being asked to remember things from when she was so young, but she did distinctly remember having him around a bit when she was much younger, "I guess I can remember a few times you were there before the war got really out of hand and you went to umm-"

"Yeah," Sirius sighed saving her the trouble of saying it, "But before that I mean. I know you don't remember, but when I still went to Hogwarts I spent most of my summer holidays with you." Sirius got a really far away look on his face, "You were about two this time I babysat you. Your parents were going to a show. I was playing with you in your little daybed, tickling you. And you were such and adorable little kid all laughing and screaming. It was hilarious until you turned blue. All blue not just your skin, but your hair and your eyes too. I nearly pissed my pants. Because after you turned blue you stopped moving, I supposed because I stopped tickling you. But I thought I'd killed you or something. I was in hysterics. I can't imagine it was very becoming at all. I flooed your parents, Mrs. Potter, and Peter." Tonks snickered out loud. Her parents had told her bits of this story before. "Mrs. Potter was there in less than a minute, and Peter just told me your parents would kill me and that he was sad he'd have to find another friend. Your parents just kind of laughed at me, and I couldn't figure out why. Mrs. Potter quickly pointed out that you were smiling and breathing and that I was stupid. Your parents eventually explained that your dad had taught you a joke to scare your mom, but it really wasn't a big deal if you turned blue. Infact by the end of our conversation you'd gone back to normal colors." She was already back under his arm at that point and he could feel her shaking with laughter. Then he turned to her and said earnestly, "Even though your parents said it wasn't dangerous I never did tickle you again. I was always way too afraid you die or something."

She felt a surge of affection for Sirius followed by a surge of shame for her behavior. She hugged him hard around his middle pinning her face to his shoulder. She felt the beginnings of tears form in her eyes, but she blinked hard to keep them back. Sirius tilted her face up to his and smiled. Seeing his smile popped the little bubble of shame Tonks had been trying to keep down and tears spilled over the rims of her eyes. "I'm sorry," Tonks sobbed unable to keep her voice steady. Sirius took her in his arms rubbing slow circles over her back. "I really should be more sympathetic you know? I mean people don't even like me for shapeshifting, and I'm not even deadly or anything. I really..." Her voice trailed off as Sirius hushed her by pulling her into a tighter embrace. She sniffed a bit trying to regain her composure. She hadn't noticed herself loosing it because it happened so fast. But with another person around it seemed especially important that she regain it. She inhaled a long, quavering breath in an attempt to steady herself. She withdrew from his embrace so she could look at him. "I really like him," She confessed- opting to scrap whatever of her pride was left altogether- and tell him everything, "And it scares me."

Sirius became acutely uncomfortable. He was a bit ill-suited to these kinds of honest conversations. He sat silently. He was desperately wanting to say something but much too afraid of making it worse. "Why?" Was all he could come up with.

Tonks struggled for words. She wasn't quite sure she could put it into words. "I think he's a really nice guy. And I'd like to continue to think of him that way."

"He turns into a werewolf on full moons not after making out. Dating him won't turn him into not a nice guy." Sirius remarked light-heartedly.

"Dating me seems to turn nice guys into not nice guys." Tonks replied as the dried her face with the sleeve of her robe.

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**End Note: As you can see I'm still not giving up very much about Tonks. But if you stay tuned you might just get a very nice bit of her back story.**

**How does Sirius escape the uncomfortable situation? Why does Tonks transform men? How did she find out about her unfortunate talent? For the answers to these questions and more stay tuned!**

**[I will double check Sirius's age when Tonks was born, but I think thats right.]**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Alas the laws of writing are not like the laws of physics. I cannot suspend them or bend them at will, changes in shift have been fixed retroactively. **

**I apologize a million times over for the length between updates. And Happy Valentine's Day.**

Tonks woke up with dried tears on her face and wet spots on her pillow. She frowned as a sinking feeling accompanied her recollection of why she'd been crying.

It was her day off, and she actually had nothing to do -no friends to hang out with, no work to catch up on, even no Order duties. All she could do was sulk around her room. She dared not go down to breakfast. Sirius would pity, Molly would pry, and Remus would be sitting there as benevolent and impassive as ever. All of them making her rue the day she was born. So she sulked around in her pajamas, not even bothering to get changed. Her magazines were old, her books were boring, and she had nothing to do. Her room at Grimmauld Place was not fit for lazy days. There seemed to be no sort of absent distraction at all. She decided to end her extended sleepover and go check on her place.

Back at her place there was a pile of letters on the coffee table. All from her mother, all unopened. She'd know about eleven of them, but three new ones had come. At first she was content to disregard them and go water her dying plants, but the ever-growing stack of letters was nagging her the back of her mind. All had gone unanswered, and most of them had gone unread, somehow they'd gotten lost in the shuffle of less unpleasant things she had to do. But to be perfectly honest there were very few things that were more unpleasant to Nymphadora Tonks than speaking with her mother. She sank into the chair by her desk and began to count the letters. One, Two, Three, Four,...Fourteen. Fourteen letters had been sent to her by her mother. She hadn't opened a single one, but she would bet her life that she could relay the contents of all of them. She began opening them a little reluctantly.

Letter Number One:

"_Nymphadora,_"-cringe- "_I haven't seen or heard from you in quite sometime. I was just hoping to hear from you soon. I think any mother would hope her daughter would make a greater effort to keep in touch. Especially with a war going on and the rising panic. But I suppose you must have met someone, and that's why you're neglecting your dear mother. I understand how much time a new relationship can take up. I can't wait to meet him. Love, Mom _"

Letter Number Two:

"_Nymphadora,_"-double cringe-"_Your father and can't wait for a visit. We've been worrying about you. Have you considered leaving that job of yours. I keep hearing about terrible things happening to people. I don't want you to be a target. I'm sure there is a burly man somewhere who would love to be fighting dark wizards. Make sure to bring whomever you've been spending all your time with for your next visit. Love, Your Mother."_

Letter Number Three:

"_Nymphadora, I'm not at all impressed by your talent for worrying your parents. Please send us a reply so that we know your still alive atleast. Hopefully this boy who's been monopolizing all your time has good intentions of marriage. __Hope you have some good news by our next visit. " _

Letter Number Four:

"_Nymphadora, It's been a whole month without a reply. It's not okay to worry us like this. I hope we hear from you soon. If this boyfriend of yours doesn't intend to let you speak to us then maybe he isn't for you. Your father met a very nice boy who's excited to meet you. That is if you ever deem visiting us worth your time. Love, Andromeda"_

The letters continued in the trend, only getting more disapproving. If she had to say anything positive about them she could at least say they were concise. Each letter spanned half a page or less. Until she got to the last letter, which was much more of a threat than a request.

Letter Number Fourteen:

_"Nymphadora, I know that you're alive because I've been checking the obituaries in the paper. If I don't hear from you soon, so help me god, I don't think anymore correspondence will be necessary. You are not so old that you don't need your parents anymore Nymphadora, and we will not tolerate being ignored and disregarded. It is completely unacceptable for you to worry us like this. There is a war going on, that you happen to be a part of, and we would like to make certain that you're alright. Visit soon, we'd like to see you in person. Andromeda."_

A guilty blush crept across her cheeks. No, matter how much she wanted to avoid speaking with her mother she knew it wasn't fair. But any time she convinced herself to go for a visit the knowledge that any sort of conversation with Andromeda seemed to lead in the same desolate and unpleasant direction inevitably leaving them both frustrated and upset left her making an excuse to put it off. But the last letter was a threat, and she knew her mother expected a visit. And she knew that during the visit she ought to be accompanied by a very nice man or a very good excuse, preferably severe and extended incapacitation. She didn't have either.

The best she could hope for was some dreadful chore she could help her father with, that would bore or disgust her mother. Andromeda's letter weighed heavily on her mind. She hadn't even realized how worried her parents would be about her. The threat of wartime hadn't crossed her mind. The more she thought the guiltier she felt.

Tonks knew what she had to do. She slowly got up from her desk and gathered up her bath things to go take a shower. Every step towards the bathroom felt like a mile, and her feet were like lead. She would have to visit her parents, and to do that she would have to look _presentable._ Her mother was a real stickler for that sort of thing -no boots, no pink hair, no pants, no t-shirts, etc. After she was showered she began her frantic search for something appropriate to wear. Her mother hated the idea of women in pants, so that killed half her wardrobe. Most of her skirts were too short or too bright, and she liked all of her T-shirts much to much for her mother to ever like them. After a long and desperate search she came up with a sweater, a green turtleneck type deal, and skirt, one of those tapered beige numbers with a hidden zipper, that she could have sworn her mother sent her. The hardest part was shoes, boots were unacceptable, she couldn't walk in heels, and sneakers would make her look like some aging teacher at a rural intermediate school. She searched under her bed, in her closet, in the cabinet where she kept cereal. Certainly she had to have a pair of loafers or something equally sensible somewhere. She eventually found them. And coincidentally discovered the reason that her bottom desk drawer wouldn't closed all the way. An extremely squashed pair of loafers had somehow found they're way into the space behind the drawer. She tried to unsquish them a bit before giving up and slipping them on.

After getting dressed she almost felt ready to walk out the door. Then she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She'd almost forgotten to unmorph. Her parents liked to be able to recognize her by something other than the fact that she was unrecognizable. She took a deep breath and tried to pluck up a bit of courage before standing up and walking out the door.

She walked for a few blocks, and deeply considered walking the whole way just to buy herself some time. She relented after about a half a mile, deciding that she would like to be there before the war ended. She ducked into the next alleyway, and after deeming it safe she apparated to the walk of the house she grew up in. She stared at her feet as she crossed the large blue paving stones, careful not to step in the cracks. She felt like a child again, like avoiding the cracks would force the universe to endow her with some special protection.

She stood at the door with her hand raised, daring herself to knock. She swallowed hard then knocked twice. She heard movement behind the door and stood waiting.

"Dora!" Her father shouted in amazement before drawing her into a hug. She returned his affection with zeal. He released her from his hug, then took a step back to inspect her with a smile. She smiled back stupidly and said, "Wotcher, Dad."

"Oh, Dora it's great to see you looking so well! Dromeda, come out here. Dora's come for a visit!" Her father called toward the kitchen.

They were both startled by the sound of plates crashing and then quick footsteps. Her mother appeared around the doorway, and she soon after found herself in another hug. "Nymphadora!" she cried emphatically as she gave Tonks a kiss on the cheek. Tonks was too surprised by the warm greeting she received to be properly annoyed by the use of her first name. "Nymphadora, we haven't seen you in so long. We've missed you!" She cringed the second time, but it was as much from embarrassment as annoyance.

"Momma!" She exclaimed as she clung to her mother's petite frame. They embraced each other firmly. Reluctance and anger were the last things on their minds. Tonks hadn't realized how much she'd miss her mother. They stepped back to look properly at each other. They mirrored each others actions in near perfection for anyone who was watching.

Tonks stayed for lunch. She and her mother miraculously managed to avoid conflict for the time it took to prepare and consume a meal.

After lunch she went out back with her dad, to help him add a lean-to to the shed for more space. She was grateful for the chore if only because it gave her an excuse to put on a comfy pair of his old denims and a T-shirt, but she was even happier that it gave her the opportunity to get away from her mother for a bit. Though they hadn't argued their conversations were strained.

Tonks and her father had been working on the roof silently for a while, enjoying the sunshine, when he turned to her "Do you think Andromeda is a bad mother?" He asked her. She gaped and the nails she'd been holding in her mouth fell to the ground with a clatter.

"No,- Why- Eh-" She sputtered, unable to find acceptable words for what she wanted to say. She didn't think her mother could ever intentionally hurt her. She _loved_ her mother.

His forehead creased in concern, "Don't-," He began, but he stopped unable to finish his sentence. He took a deep breath before he started again, "It's not that I think you don't love her. But do you resent her for wanting you to get married?"

_Yes! _Nymphadora wanted to shout it from the rooftops, and she could have considering she was coincidentally on a rooftop. But she wasn't sure she could say it. It felt so ungrateful. She didn't want to be disloyal to her mother. But her father looked at her earnestly. Something about the way her father looked at her implied secrecy. "Yes." She muttered as she pulled out her wand to summon the dropped nails and give her an excuse to look away.

"She's afraid you don't think she's a good mother, that you don't like her. She thinks that's why you haven't visited or wrote, or flooed." His forhead creased a bit as if he wasn't sure he should continue but after a breath he went on, "She just wants you to be happy. She's afraid that you're lonely like you were at Hogwarts, and she wants you to have someone. We remember the morose little creature you were as a teenager, and we don't want you to be that way. This war is dreadful, and sometimes just to know that someone loves you and to be with them is enough to make it less dreadful. She wants you to have that." Tonks felt uncomfortable, and it wasn't because she was on a partially framed roof. Her parents honestly believed that all she needed was to be married. She could understand that they found happiness in each other and wanted her to have the same thing, but why couldn't they let her find it herself? Why didn't they think she was capable of finding it for herself? She was reminded of an incident from the second summer holiday after she began going to Hogwarts.

_Nymphadora sat in the hall listening to the voices beyond the door. "She doesn't have any friends Ted! She doesn't get letters over the holidays, no on has invited her for a birthday or out to play. During the year all she ever writes to us about is her teachers. I just think she's lonely." Andromeda whispered concernedly. _

_Nymphadora could just imagine them sitting there at the table. Her mother would be leaning over the table a bit with her hand stretched out towards her fathers. He would be sitting back in his chair massaging his forehead, trying to stave off a headache. He answered with a sigh, "But what can we do about it? We can't make other children like her." He sounded a little desperate. His heart ached for his only child. She felt her eyes start to fill up, and hot tears stained her cheeks. She abandoned her perch in the hall and fled to her room._

"I'm sorry. I don't want her to think that I don't love her, but I'm just so busy and frustrated with work and the war." Nymphadora stopped. She waited a moment before continuing again with a bit more conviction and a lot more sadness, "I didn't want to come over just to pick a fight with her, and it always ends in a fight."

"She means well. That's all I can say in her defense I suppose." He picked up his hammer and started working again. They fell into silence. Tonks tried her hardest not to fall off of the partially framed roof. In an hour around three in the afternoon they climbed down to admire their handiwork. The lean-to was framed. "Remind me again why we didn't do this with magic."

"You do less damage without magic," Mr. Tonks answered with a smile, "And where would the fun be in using magic?" They chuckled a little as they stowed the tools in the shed and walked back to the house together.

They slipped in quietly, tracking a little bit of mud across the floor. Mr. Tonks sank heavily into his favorite armchair and summoned a Butterbeer from the refrigerator. Nymphadora sat across from him on the couch and curled around the arm. He summoned another that she presumed was for her. "Thanks," She said reaching toward the floating bottle.

"For what?" He asked feigning confusion, as he sat the bottle next to his open one.

"But you have one!" Tonks exclaimed as he sat the bottle down.

"And now I have two," He said with a smug smirk. She glared at him. He chuckled then tossed her the bottle, giving up his act.

"Why are you always makin' funna' me?" She griped petulantly after a gulp.

"It's just so easy to ruffle your feathers, who could resist?" She stuck her tongue out at him. They sat looking at each other for a bit. Tonk's was thinking about how nice it was to sit around and joke with her father. "You know sometimes I wish you looked more like me." He remarked absently after setting down his empty bottle.

"Well thats an easy one," She answered screwing up her face and turning her hair blonde and copying her fathers nose, "See, now I look like I'm yours."

Mr. Tonks rolled his eyes and sighed, "You know what I mean Dora. It would make me feel like I had, hmmm, more of a stake in you."

She looked at him confusedly for a moment, "Are you doubting my paternity?" She exclaimed before doubling over in a fit of laughter.

He gaped and sputtered trying to explain himself before joining his daughter in a fit of laughter. The noise must have drawn Andromeda from the kitchen, but she was not pleased at what she saw. "Oh, what are you two simpletons in here laughing about?" They continued their fits of laughter. Upon receiving no answer she grew more petulant, "Nymphadora why haven't you changed? Dinner is going to be served in a half-hour, and we're having a guest! And both of you sitting on my furniture in those nasty work cloths! I see you've also tracked mud in the house." They weren't laughing anymore. They knew what was happening, and once Andromeda had picked up steam there was no stopping her rants, "Did you get _sawdust_ on my furniture?" She exclaimed a little disbelievingly. Mrs. Tonks took a steadying breath before she shooed her daughter upstairs to get changed, and her husband away from herself for fear of committing murder.

As she mounted the stairs Nymphadora tried to recall soliciting, receiving, or accepting and invitation to dinner -she couldn't. She also couldn't recall when a simple visit after breakfast had turned into an all day affair. She was also fairly sure she knew what kind of guest they were having to dinner. The guest would coincidentally be around her age, male, a good friend of her parents, and available. How _conventient._ She seethed at being drawn into one of her mother's traps. "Why didn't they just trade me for a few cattle right after Hogwarts?" Tonks muttered to herself as she slammed the door of her childhood room. On the bed her mother had laid a tan skirt, a white blouse, and a pair of stockings. She let out a low growl and snatched them off the bed. The only thing that kept her from setting them afire was her contrition at having not visited her parents for so long. She stalked off towards the bathroom to bathe and change. She emerged twenty minutes later clean, groomed, and presentable all to her dismay. The cloths her mother picked were less comfortable and more unflattering than she expected. She scowled at her reflection in the the foggy bathroom mirror as she walked out. "Nymphadora, you have three minutes!" Andromeda called up the stairs.

"Coming," She answered through her painfully clenched jaw. She plodded down the stairs heavily as if headed to her doom. As she reached the bottom of the stairs there was a knock at the door. She gripped the banister harder, and her knuckles went white. She caught sigh of her hair as it fell in her face, and it had gone the nasty vermilion color she recalled from her teenage fits of anger.

"Oh, Nymphadora," Andromeda tutted appearing from around the corner, "You're father's getting the door now, so could you please try to calm yourself down a little. I know I shouldn't have, and I'm a terrible mother, and you hate me -yadda, yadda, yadda. But could you please just change your hair back and stop being so sullen. I even made your favorite for pudding," Mrs. Tonks looked her daughter in the eye and her tone made the leap from condescending to pleading, "I shouldn't have, I _know_ I shouldn't have, but please give him a chance. Not for me for him. He's a nice boy."

She silently gave in to her mothers plea. She changed her hair back to brown and stepped past her heading toward the parlor where she took a seat on the settee at the end farthest from the door. Andromeda went back to the kitchen, and Nymphadora sat waiting for her father to usher in her potential buyer. Her wait was short, soon her father entered followed by a tall younger gentlemen with dark hair and a shy smile.

"Oh, Hello there!" Mr. Tonks said with a start then he offered his daughter an apologetic smile before introducing her to the mystery guest, "Dora this is Jesse Alexander and Jesse this is my daughter Nymphadora," He introduced gesturing to Nymphadora and Jesse respectively.

She stood up to greet him, and as she shook his hand she couldn't help but notice his soft brown eyes and how his face seemed accustomed to smiling. She grinned back at him and offered a wotcher. He returned her greeting, and she asked to take his coat and offered him a seat. After hanging his coat in the hall closet she returned to the parlor where her mother had joined them. She sat down with him on the settee, and Andromeda returned to the kitchen to check on dinner without even a glance at her daughter. "It's great to meet you umm Nymphadora," He said a little unsure of what to call her, "I hear lots about you from your parents."

"Everyone calls her Tonks. It's a lot less of a mouthful if you like." Mr. Tonks suggested saving Nymphadora the trouble of being rude.

"Tonks," He repeated experimentally, "I like that." He concluded with a smile in Tonks' direction, "I go by my last name too. My parents saddled me with a girls name."

"Alex?" She asks as she returned his smile. He nodded and they had a chuckle at their shared eccentricity. A silence settle, so she asked, "How do you know my parents?"

He smiled obligingly. It was a straight bright smile that seemed to reach his whole face, "Well my father works with yours, " He nodded towards Mr. Tonks who was dangerously close to falling asleep, "And my parents had yours over for dinner one night. I thought they were great company, and I supposed I might impose on their hospitality little more often than I should."

"Nonsense," Mr. Tonks interjected perking up a bit. "We love having you. And speaking of hospitality, I ought to go check on Andromeda in the kitchen," He rose as he spoke. And with a conspirators glance at his daughter removed to the kitchen.

Tonks turned to face her companion a little more directly, "That's really nice of you. Not the imposing part," She corrected sensing her folly, "The keeping my parents company part. I probably don't visit them as often as I should."

"Well, I suppose being an auror doesn't offer you very much by the way of free time for social calls and things."He said casually.

"How do you know what I do?"

"Oh, this is odd. Your parents told me you were an auror. They've told me a quite a bit about you I suppose. That's a little queer isn't it, knowing so much about you when we've just met? Well, I guess it gives me the conversational upper hand. Too bad I'm terrible at making conversation and end up rambling a little. You can stop me whenever you're inclined to put me out of my misery." He said looking at her for a bit of help.

Tonks chuckled, "To help you'd I'd probably have to be a skillful conversationalist, but because that's not the case at all I don't suppose that's within my power. I speak how I walk. And if you've ever seen me trip over my own feet you know that's not a good thing. I suppose we'll just have to suffer through our own blunders comforted by the knowledge that the other is just as inept."

"Well that puts a silver lining to it." He said dryly.

"Well, I try to put one in everything." She smirked. They chuckled.

Andromeda, with her knack for putting an end to laughter, called them to dinner.

**A/N: I know what ur thinking I promise. It probably goes along the lines of I thought this was Remus and Tonks not Remus and your silly OC? And did I really have to wait months for _that? _ **

**Well I'm really sorry it took so long. It wasn't supposed to end here. But I figured I ought to just cut the chapter in half and give you something before you gave up entirely. And my OC disappears **_**really**_** soon so don't get your undies in a bunch.**

**What's for dinner? Will Tonks and Andromeda make up? Stay tuned. Review. **


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Yo, sorry for taking an eternity to update. I'm lazy and shiftless. I apologize. Also sorry if I haven't replied to your review. I can't recall if I've replied to them all and I feel like jerk if I haven't. I'll be better. Read, enjoy, review.**_

Andromeda sat the last dish on the table before taking her seat. Ted and Jesse began serving themselves and Tonks handed her plate to her mother. She hadn't been allowed to serve herself since the time she'd broken three pieces of china and stained her mother's favorite tablecloth all in one helping of soup. Alex looked on at the exchange with curiosity. Tonks caught sight of his expression and a blush rose to her cheeks. "I never quite got the hang of ladles and things," She answered lamely.

A mild look of surprise flashed across Jesse's face before it was replaced with a smile. "I always thought your parents were kidding when they said you were erm ungainly."

"Nope, ungainly just about sums me up." She said with a smile. She was impressed by his choice of words, "What about you? What do you do?" She said only just realizing that she knew very little about him.

"I make chocolate" He said in a way that indicated that he was a ware of how strange his profession was.

"Your kidding?" Tonks asked in awe.

"Nope," He answered as he withdrew a foil wrapped square from his pocket and handed it to her.

"That's awesome!" She said as she unwrapped the little square.

His nose wrinkled in confusion, " You haven't even tasted it."

She laughed, "Not that -well I'm sure the chocolate is awesome too- but the fact that you make chocolate!"

She unwrapped the square of chocolate deftly and cast the foil aside. She took a moment to admire the ornate "A" embossed in the center of the square. "Not nearly as cool as the frogs, but it tastes alright," remarked Jesse as he caught her inspecting the chocolate. She grinned at him before popping the candy into her mouth. Her lips curled up in a smile as the chocolate melted against her tongue. She closed her eyes and let out an appreciative mmm.

"Well I believe that means she likes it," Mr. Tonks interjected. Andromeda and Jesse chuckled. Tonks was still much to engrossed in the chocolate to do any chuckling.

"If I were as good at my job as you are at yours I'd be minister of magic by now."

"Thanks," Jesse replied as a grin spread across his face.

"How does one get into the chocolate business?"

He took a deep breath as if settling in for a story before beginning to speak, "Well first you finish your studies and come of age. Then you hang around your parent's for a while reading muggle fantasy novels or not doing much of anything at all. Eventually they insist that you do something. And when you realize there isn't much of anything you _can _do besides read fantasy novels they send you to work with an old friend of your grandfathers. And you just might end up as an apprentice chocolatier."

"Well, atleast they picked something you were really good at."

"Yup, too bad I won't be doing it for much longer." He turned away from her shock to face her parents, "I've finally found something career-like to do." He said it proudly as if fulfilling an expectation.

"Good Boy," Ted shouted affectionately.

"Oh what have you decided on?" Andromeda asked.

He looked sheepish for a moment, "Well the job title is live in tutor, but the description is more like governess, so I'm not to sure how that'll work out. S' in Australia though so that ought to be cool, and I do like the idea of being a sort of teacher though, maybe I'll get a job at a proper school someday."

"Wait!" Tonks exclaimed regaining his attention, "You are ditching the coolest job I've ever heard to play Mary Poppins to some little brats? I don't understand."

"Neither do I," Jesse said with an equally incredulous look on his face, "Who's Mary Poppins?"

Tonks screwed up her face for a moment before looking up at Jesse from a face that was the spitting image of Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins. "Does the face ring a bell?"

"No, and did you just? What just-?"

Tonks turned to her parents wearing her own face, "You told him what I do for a living, you tell him about my lack of coordination and all this other business, but you neglected to mention that I was a metamorphagus? Just slipped your minds?"

"Never came up," Ted answered with a smile.

"You're a -"

"Yes, I am. And enough about that back to the point. You want to be a governess and you don't even know who Mary Poppins is?"

"I've never heard of her, and I'm not going to be a governess!" He retorted a bit indignantly.

"Whatever, I just don't understand why you'd want to be a governess in the first place. Here you have this awesome job making all manner of children happy, and your going to trade that so that you can make children distinctly _unhappy_? Not that you'll be a bad governess, but-"

"I'm not a governess!" He interrupted gruffly.

"Well whatever you plan to be to these children you can't be it without knowing who Mary Poppins is! And I thought you said you read muggle novels? How have you managed to avoid the crown jewel of their _entire culture_?" She urged waving away his argument over word choice.

"Tonks!" Andromeda said in admonishment, "Jesse is from a _wizarding _family. He can't be expected to have heard of all of your favorite muggle childrens things."

Andromeda's attempt was futile, Tonks was far too worked up to have things explained away by normal logic or any sort of logic for that matter, "If it were just my favorite muggle movie (yes it's a movie not a _thing_) then I could let it go. But this transcends just my list of favorites, or even movies. It is a _cultural icon. _It was wildly popular book before it was movie, there are even still live musicals of it."

Ted Tonks had begun to chuckle at them around the time governesses were mentioned, and continued chuckling more loudly. Andromeda glared.

"Even so, what is you're point?" Jesse asked as he still didn't see what bearing a childrens book could reasonably have on his life.

Tonks pulled her wand from pocket and gave it a wave. Andromeda got the feeling that something beyond the scope of a normal dinner party was occurring. She didn't like it. A dusty VHS tape flew urgently toward Tonks. She attempted to catch it deftly but it ended up hitting her forearm and falling to the table with a thud. Luckily it missed her plate.

"My point is that you _need_ to watch this movie. As soon as possible. D'you have a VHS player?"

"A what?

"This is a bigger emergency than I thought. We'll have to watch it now." Tonks stated matter of factly.

"Really ? Is this entirely appropriate Tonks?" Andromeda said warningly.

"Yes," Came the firm reply from Tonks.

Andromeda gave a defeated sigh that was barely heard over Mr. Tonks' merry chuckle. He was quite fond of Mary Poppins himself.

Tonks stood up authoritatively; she gave her wand a wave over the table eliciting a look of horror from Andromeda. Luckily most of the dishes only gave a feeble sort of lurch before remaining firmly on the table. Tonks scowled at the offending plates as Andromeda sent them all gracefully racing toward the sink.

"So I suppose this means we're having our pudding in the television room, " Andromeda remarked petulantly.

"Well if you don't want to keep the boy here all night we'll have to. S'kind of a long movie. More than two hours."

Ted and Jesse who were both aware of Andromeda's delicate sense of propriety shot each other nervous looks.

"I really can't stay. I'm sorry, and I'd love to indulge you another time, but my parents are expecting me back home and Shelley is there with them. We're s'posed to be arranging wedding things and whatnot. I really-" Jesse stammered half making desperate excuses to get out of another two hours of confusion and being called a governess, and half telling the truth.

"Wedding things," Andromeda cried sharply.

Jesse's eyes opened wide like a house elves, "That wasn't supposed to come out. You were s'posed to get an announcement in the post and be cordially invited. Gah!" he stammered desperately, "I'm sorry."

Ted recovered first, "What's there to be sorry about m'boy? Congratulations are in order! I didn't even know you'd made up with Shelley, but I'm always glad to see young people settling down." He cried merrily.

"Congratulations!" Tonks said taking her fathers lead, "But don't think you're getting out of this that easily!" She gave her want another deft little wave, and three tattered old books bound in green, blue, and lavender cloth zipped toward her. She didn't catch these either. "And you've already confessed to knowing how to read, so you can read these at your leisure."

He smiled and shook his head at the books she thrust into his arms. She smiled contentedly. Andromeda still hadn't said anything. The business about a wedding still had her discomposed. For the first time one of her schemes to get Tonks married seemed to be going well, and then came this sudden fatal blow. She couldn't exactly handle it.

"Well thank you. I'll be sure to umm give this a read." Jesse said awkwardly.

Tonks shook her head and replied jokingly, "No, not nearly good enough. You practically need to study them."

Jesse gave a nervous chuckle; he still wasn't quite sure when she was joking. Ted was quietly trying to talk Andromeda into a more social mood, or atleast a less shocked and disappointed one.

"Well do you have to leave right this minute, or can you atleast stay for pudding?" She asked at last and you could hear the disappointment she struggled to keep out of her voice

"I don't think I could bring myself to leave without having any pudding." Jesse answered with kind of an uncomfortable forced cheer in his voice.

Andromeda gave a more genuine smile smile and scampered off to fetch whatever was for dessert. Ted and Jesse chatted cheerfully about Shelley -whoever she was- and Australia, and the wedding while Nymphadora took a moment to take stock of her feelings. She couldn't help but realize that she did feel disappointed that he was going to be married, but there was something else too. Possibly relief at not being expected to be charming anymore. Not that she was doing a great job of it before. Or possibly the relief of not hoping anymore because undeniably she was hoping.

Andromeda returned, dessert passed away uneventfully albeit a little stiffly. Jesse said his goodbyes. He gave Mr. & Mrs. Tonks his hugs and compliments. He offered Tonks a stiff acquaintance-y hug and tried to 'forget' his books on the parlor table. Tonks sent them flying after him with a little more vim and vigor than she intended and had a chuckle when one smacked him square between the shoulder blades. He turned around and gave her a look of mock anger before setting off with a chuckle. Nymphadora went to the kitchen to help her mother tidy up. Andromeda of course preferred that she do less helping and more sitting at the table brooding. Which she obligingly did.

She had found dinner enjoyable, and even though it didn't achieve her mother's desired effects, she was content with it. Jesse was friendly and nice enough even though he hadn't seen Mary Poppins. He was also a good sport about her governess jokes and flying books. All in all she could say she liked him very much, but she also couldn't shake the feeling that he reminded her of someone else.

"I'm done," Andromeda said in a serious voice startling Tonks out of her own head.

Tonks looked around, "Yeah, the kitchens clean." She said kind of wondering what the big deal was.

"Stop being cruel, you know that isn't what I mean. I'm done matchmaking. I'm just so sorry that happened, and just when it seemed like you two were getting on well it just-" Andromeda didn't look up, but just kept staring at the dishrag she was twisting in her hands.

It took Tonks a moment to realize it but her mother was actually apologizing, and sincerely. Tonks smiled, "S'okay mum. I'd only just met him. S'not like we'd moved in together or anything. Not that this means you can start your tricks again."

She soon returned to her natural and unapologetic state, "Oh, don't even talk about moving in with men! We still haven't forgotten about that dreadful time you told us you were engaged to a boy just so you could live with him. The _sin_ of it all. And then just suddenly showing up no explanation. Never speaking of him, never telling us what happened. Hmpf."

Tonks felt as if she'd just been knocked in the stomach. There was no more contentment, no more Mary Poppins, just a flood of memories that threatened to break the carefully constructed dam in her mind. She determinedly ignored the images trying to force themselves into her conscious mind. "Not now," she threatened.

Andromeda seemed to be feeling particularly argumentative because she dove right in. "No, I think now happens to be the perfect time. Christopher was such a nice young man, so determined on settling down. I mean I really can't understand how even _you_ scared him away. And you never even bothered to give us an explanation."

"I don't owe you an explanation okay! And have you ever considered that it wasn't _me _who scared _him_ away?" Tonks shouted her cheeks coloring and her voice rising to that unpleasant octave of hysteria.

"Nymphadora?" Andromeda whispered worriedly.

"No, stop it. I can't. I won't. I'm leaving!" She scraped her chair back and rushed out of the room hiding her face in her sleeve.

"Stop, please," She called out to her before catching up in a few quick little steps. She reached out, grabbed her shoulder, and spun her around taking her in her arms. Tonks leaned heavily against her mother, and wept quietly in her arms. Andromeda hugged her tightly and whispered soothing mother against her hair.

Ted came down from Tonks' room where he'd been making her bed up with clean linen. He took stock of the situation and shot Andromeda an accusatory glance. She ignored him. "Well Dora I just came down to tell you that your bed is made up if you'd like to stay. Seems now your mothers got you in no fit state to travel, so uhh see you in the morning." He disappeared around the corner into the study.

"I'm sorry," Andromeda murmured.

Tonks broke the hug and stood back to look at her mother, "I'm going to sleep. I'll see you at breakfast."

–

_**E/N: I'll proofread it again in the morning, but I think its okay if you ignore all those dangling modifiers, and my inability to do dialogue, bleh.**_

_**Stay tuned, cause it's looking like the Tonks' are having drama for breakfast...dun dun dun.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Poof. Update**

For the second morning in a row Nymphadora woke up on a tear stained pillow, and even more unluckily she distinctly felt as if she'd spent the entire night convulsing with great heaving sobs. Which she in fact had been doing for a great deal of the night, before falling into a somewhat restless sleep. In fact she probably wouldn't even be awake if it weren't for the gentle tapping on her door. "Can I come in?" Asked the voice from behind the door. "Ennnarrrgh," Went the answer from inside the room. Lucky for Nymphadora indiscriminant moaning is translated as "please bring me breakfast" in the Tonks home. So in went Mr. Tonks -pushed along by Mrs. Tonks- bearing a tray weighted with a hearty breakfast. Nymphadora had forgotten about the shifts in language that took place in her parents home, so upon observing any movement of the door she yanked her duvet up over her head violently. She heard a tray being placed on the night table then she felt a weight settling on the edge of her bed. And she told herself that the only reason she was wiggling out from under her duvet was that the smell of coffee had wafted over from the tray. She convinced herself that it had nothing at all to do with the fact that the weight felt more like someone who had gone to seed and was a bit of a slob than someone who was small and judgmental.

She was extremely glad to look out at her father when she'd wiggled up from under her covers. If she didn't already know she looked like crap that priceless look of pity flashed across his face before settling into something like fatherly concern reminded her. The pity-concern combo threatened to break through her haphazardly erected defenses against once again dissolving into a fit of tears. She never understood how you could all but regain your self control and have it shattered by one stray look. "Morning Dora, I brought you breakfast," Mr. Tonks said with forced cheer as he gestured toward the breakfast tray.

"Thanks Dad," She said carefully avoiding his eyes as she reached for a biscuit off the tray. She broke it in half and deliberately let it crumble onto the duvet. She stared down at the crumbs with satisfaction as she waited for her father to say something.

"What's got you so blue?" He asked as put his arm around her shoulders.

Her eyes began to fill up with hot tears, but she swallowed them down before replying, "Nothing really Dad. I'm just being silly." Hers was the choked voice of someone trying desperately to sound like they aren't desperately trying not to cry.

He drew her more tightly under his arm and rested his chin atop her head so she could feel the vibrations of his vocal cords as he hummed to her.

_ "Ted do something!" Andromeda begged, "She's kicking me!"_

_ Nymphadora felt her father's arm tighten around her shoulder and he pushed down harder on her legs to keep them from kicking. "Shhhh! Stop your screaming," He cooed gently. She like the way his throat hummed as he rested his chin atop her head. "You're Mother is trying to help. You just sit still." He cast his eyes down at he wife accusingly "Could try to go quickly Dromeda," He said to her sharply._

_ Andromeda's jaw clenched as she went back to work trying to dislodge the small nail that Tonks had stepped on in the garden. She'd been trying to go quickly for nearing 10 minutes now, but every time she got a hold of it Tonks would jerk away. Then Ted began to hum a gentle tune, and she stopped kicking. She stopped paying attention to her mother altogether and was engrossed in whatever muggle tune Ted hummed. Andromeda frowned before pulling the nail out. Bright red blood began to leak and ooze out of the deep puncture into a basin Andromeda had filled with water. She plunged the injured foot into the water, and scrubbed vigorously. Maybe too vigorously, but Nymphadora was too engrossed in examining the blood covered nail that Andromeda had discarded and listening to her father to notice. Andromeda removed her foot from the basin and gently tapped it with the tip of her wand. A few more droplets of blood were pushed out before the puncture was healed. Andromeda let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding._

_ "Now go on and play, try not to walk on that foot," Andromeda said firmly. _

_ Nymphadora looked thoughtful for a moment, "How am I s'possed to go if I can't walk?"_

_ It was Andromeda's turn to look thoughtful. Ted just smiled and turned to face Tonks. "Show me how a piggy plays," He commanded. A snout promptly appeared in place of Nymphadora's nose. "Now go along like piggies go along. And make sure to wear shoes outside Dora," She smiled and oinked before crawling away to go do piggy things. _

_ Andromeda narrowed her eyes on her husband, "If you would bother to tidy up after your silly projects she wouldn't have to wear shoes." _

_ "She should wear shoes when she's outside Dromeda. And as I recall I was putting up a bed for your garden."_

_ Andromeda let out a noise of contention._

_ "Your not always right," Ted said simply_

_ "I'm not always wrong," She replied. _

Nymphadora smiled into her father's shoulder. "You used to do this when I was a kid."

"What?"

"Hum to me," She said still smiling hard because it was only way to stave off another fit of weeping. "Whenever something unpleasant happened you'd hum it away."

He let out a thoughtful sigh, and they lapsed into silence. "What time is it?" She asked eventually.

"Quarter to eight," He replied after checking his watch.

Nymphadora groaned, before stuffing the half a biscuit she'd been playing with in her mouth and scrambling to escape her mother's expertly tucked sheets.

"I take it your going to be late for something." Ted said standing up to leave.

"I have to be at work in 15 minutes."

"Hmmm," Ted murmured as he closed the door behind him.

He only managed to take a few steps before Andromeda began to tail him. He managed to make it half way down the stairs before she began impatient inquiries."So did you ask her what was wrong?"

"Hmmm."

"Well what did she say?"

"Nothing."

"Well obviously _something_ is wrong!" Andromeda cried as if his answer had been meant as an insult to her intelligence.

"Well she told me nothing was wrong, and I didn't pry."

Andromeda's shrewd little eyes narrowed at her husbands back. If Ted could feel the heat of her glare he endured it unflinchingly. She followed him into the kitchen and they stood silently waiting for the other say something for a few moments before Tonks could be heard taking the steps two at a time. She bounded into the kitchen breathlessly, already wearing her cloak and whatever of her old cloths she found in her room, and looking every bit like she'd just woken up six minutes ago. "It was great to see you Mum and Dad. I won't keep away so long again, I promise. I love you both, but I'm really late," She said all in a rush as she stepped forward to hug them both before turning and running for the door, without giving either of them a chance to do anything but call out an 'I love you' behind her.

As she was fastening her cloak she had remembered that Kingsley asked her to pick up some files they'd pilfered from the ministry because they might soon be missed. Kingsley said he'd left them with Sirius, but there was no telling what sort of state Sirius would be in at this time of the morning. She ran out into the garden and apparated to the doorstep of Grimmauld place from the shadow of the garden shed. Tonks was worried she might not be able to find them, or that finding them would make her even later than she was going to be. She gently rapped on the door and hoped Sirius would let her in. A few seconds lapsed before she heard movement behind the door. She could hear Sirius and Lupin shouting back and forth at each other.

"Why do they even bother knocking, s'not as if anyone lives here?" Sirius said gruffily.

"_You_ live here."

"You call this living?"

"Oh, just get the door."

"You get the door you old-" Sirius whined at which point Tonks just let herself in like all of the other order members.

"You _do_ live here. I was just trying to respect that, m'sorry if that means you might occasionally be expected to get off your ass and let me it." Tonks said petulantly she walked into the middle of their argument.

Sirius let out a derisory snort before transforming into a large black dog and stalking off in the direction of the kitchen. Presumably to sulk under the table, which he'd taken to doing all too frequently, and it was generally worrying for the other order members. "Oh, no you don't! Come back here!" She called after him. She was ignored, as could be expected.

"Morning, Lupin," She said acknowledging her only other companion.

"Morning," He replied.

"I'd love to chat, but I've got to-" She stopped unable to find a suitable phrase for chase after a distant cousin who prefers to spend his days as a dog. So instead of continuing she gestured toward the kitchen before walking down the hall toward it. "Oh Sirius, I've got a treat for you!" She called out on the off chance he'd come out, but she spotted him under the kitchen table as soon as she stepped through the doorway. "Sirius come out from under there I really don't have time for this; I'm already late as it is. Kingsley said he left some files with you, I need them where are they?"

Sirius poked his head out from between two chairs with his ears flattened against his skull in a gesture of menace. Tonks scowled back as menacingly as she could manage. His head retreated before he re-emerged on the other side of the table through a gap in the chairs. He trotted along still in dog form toward the sitting room. Tonks was close at his heels or paws. He walked over and began pawing at a seat in the corner. Tonks looked at the empty seat and huffed, "This is ridiculous, there's nothing there. Just turn back into a person and tell me where they are!"

Sirius leaned forward on his front paws and gestured toward the seat again. Tonks noticed the edge of a parcel poking out from beneath the chair. She reached down and pulled the package out from under the chair to find that it bore her name in Kingsley's unmistakable but strangely effeminate hand. She gave Sirius a gentle pat on the head, before rushing out the door making the troll leg umbrella stand wobble precariously in her wake.

*

Sirius returned to sulking under the table. He didn't like mornings, or Grimmauld place, or giving people packages, but he did enjoy napping under things. Remus left him to himself under the table for a bit. He could tell it was just one of those days already. The morning sky was claustrophobic, and it magnified the gloom around Grimmauld place, and Sirius was in a mood. Of course so was he. They were both miserable and feeling trapped inside Grimmauld place.

Remus went down to the kitchen for a mug of tea to find Sirius still sulking under the table. "So turning into a dog and growling is how you've decided to bond with your cousin?" He asked dryly hoping that a bit of censure might recall Sirius to human form. If only to retaliate.

Sirius growled.

"Oh, you don't scare me Snuffles," Remus said dismissively.

Sirius barked, and bared his teeth; Remus reached for his mug and began to sip effectively ignoring Sirius. Sirius began to whine pitifully, and rested his head in Remus's lap. Remus would have loved to oblige his friend and pat him on the head, but decided that in the long run it would probably be better for them both if he made Sirius deal with life as a person. "I don't normally have my morning tea with a mutt." Sirius lifted his head and whined before walking around to the other side of the table and transforming. "I thought you were over the Snuffles phase. Hasn't the novelty worn off?"

"It's not a phase. You're just-" Sirius said testily as he stalked off toward the pantry.

"Oh, come off it! You can't just-" Remus interrupted.

"No, you come off it! It's not like we're boys at Hogwarts anymore. You weren't my keeper then and you aren't my keeper now." Sirius spat.

Remus bristled, "I liked it better when you couldn't talk. I've had just about enough of your crap," he muttered

"Bugger you," Sirius said as he returned to the table with a bottle of cheap gin and a stout glass.

"You want to? Well I suppose it's true what they say about prison," Remus said with a nasty sneer in his voice.

Sirius twisted the lid back onto the bottle of gin, and grasped the neck of the bottle between his teeth. Then he transformed into Snuffles and started out of the kitchen. Remus cursed himself silently and followed him all the way up the stairs. Sirius got to his bedroom and stared at the door menacingly. It was closed, and he would have to transform to turn the handle. He knew Remus was right behind him.

Sirius transformed and rounded on Remus."What do you want?"

"Sirius-"

"Just go home."

"What?"

"You've had enough of my shit, so just go home. Go sit in your fucking library, and write your shitty little stories at home," Sirius snapped, baiting Remus.

Remus took the bait. "You know you're right, I have had enough of this. It gets harder and harder to be your friend everyday. You sit around this godforsaken house whinging and sulking all day. You start drinking yourself into oblivion at 8 o'clock in the morning, or you wander around the house as a dog fucking growling at everything. You're not the only one who's ever had to do something they didn't like, so just grow up! You act like you're the only one who hates this place, this war. You don't have a fucking monopoly on misery. I am going home. I can't do this anymore. I'm here trying to keep you company. Trying to keep you from going insane, and all you fucking do is whine. "

"Just leave," Sirius said before putting the bottle to his lips and tipping his head back.

Remus got his coat and left. As he stepped outside the biting air recalled him to himself. He felt a little sick thinking of how Sirius must feel, and had quite a strong urge to turn around and apologize. But he couldn't quite find the courage to face him; some Gryffindor he was.

*

"Wotcher," Tonks said, by way of announcing herself, "I hope you didn't mind I let myself in."

Sirius grunted. He had his back to her, and he was lounging on the sofa with a book in his lap.

"Hmm, I didn't know you read?"

Grunt.

"Must be an _really_ great read," She said sinking into the armchair across from the sofa.

"Hmmm," Sirius answered.

"So where is everyone?"

"There's no meeting tonight," He answered looking at her for the first time. Noticing she looked tired and a little nervous.

"I didn't mean for a meeting. I just meant that usually someone is here to check on you guys, or pick something up. You know?" She answered with real cheeriness.

Sirius attempted to smile at her, "Nope, it's just me tonight. All by my lonesome."

"That's cute. I suppose you and Lupin can have the manly equivalent of a sleepover. I think Mad-Eye mentioned that you guys lived together during the first war. Must be nostalgic spending so much time together again," She said with faraway eyes, as if she were imagining them.

"No, there's no 'manly sleepover' planned for tonight. Unless you count Mundungus who mentioned he'd be dropping in around 2 am for some unsavory reason or other, but I don't suppose he'll be staying." Sirius replied, he voice still somewhat distant and bored.

"Lupin isn't scheduled to do anything for the Order today?"

"Remus went home."

"Hmm..." There was a pause in the conversation. Sirius turned a page. The pause was probably too long a pause for conversation to be picked up where they left off without awkwardness, but Tonks plowed on, determined not to go sit alone in her flat. "I guess this is stupid, but I guess I didn't think he had a home. He spends so much of his time here with you."

He looked up from his book for a second time, and it was the first time Tonk's had ever seen him affect anything like an abashed expression. "Truth be told, I suppose I chased him away."

"Why?" Tonks asked suprisedly.

Sirius was more prepared for how than why. He thought for a moment before replying, "We were having a bad morning, and- no, that's not it," He paused again, "This experience might be wholly individual, but I'll describe it for descriptions sake. Have you ever known you were making a decision that was bad by all standards of decision-making, but not been able to stop yourself? Or been completely petulant, without being really angry at anyone." He didn't wait for her nod to go on, infact he didn't seem to realize she was there anymore. "That's what this morning was, me letting my insanity get the best of me."

"I know what you mean," She said reassuringly, but not a little wistfully.

"Hmmm?" He asked misunderstanding, or not hearing.

She continued, "I think I understand what you mean about doing something you know isn't right. Sometimes you get stuck in a loop, it's like you set yourself on this track and you can't get off, but you can see the brick wall you're about to run into."

"Yup, that was my morning," Sirius responded dryly.

Tonks shook her head wistfully, "Lucky you. It's been my life."

Sirius looked at her again, really looked at her. He saw that she was tired, but he also saw the hopeful open expression of her face. He saw how much she needed this.

"So how was your morning?" He asked sitting up so his book lay open in his lap.

"Long," She replied with a sigh as she stretched our her toes in their stripy socks.

They chatted, catching up. Talking about things they both knew didn't matter worth a damn. They spent a whole ten minutes discussing the difference in the price of ice cream before Sirius went away and after. Then they lapsed into silence again.

It was getting late, but Tonks still seemed determined not to go home. "So you like muggle books?" She remarked, eying the blue book in his hands and trying to make out the fancy lettering on the cover.

"I don't really read," Sirius said casting the book onto the floor dejectedly and sitting up.

_Glittering Grief: And Other Poems _by Adam Lucas she read from the cover of the book Sirius tossed down.

"Poetry? So when Lupin goes home you must read his books?" She remarked in a mocking tone.

Sirius' eyebrows shot toward his hairline. He looked confused and surprised. "What do you mean?" He demanded showing interest in the conversation at last.

" I just meant that that must come from Lupin's library. I never figured you for much of a poetry type of guy."

"Hmmm."

"What did you think I meant?"

Sirius bit his lip, "Well, this book actually belongs to me, but it's Remus' if you understand?"

"A gift?"

"Read the dedication."

Sirius kicked the book toward her. She flipped past the title page, the copyright page, and a short table of contents to get to the dedication. It was short. _To a Lily that was plucked for ill use. _Tonks stared for a moment waiting for comprehension to dawn on her knowing that it should. Suddenly she understood. "Remus writes?"

**Forgive me for what you have just read. I promise there's a story arc somewhere. It just always seems like a good idea to upload quarter finished chapters in the middle of the night.**


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